When Will God Send My Spouse?

Are you single and wondering when God will send your spouse?  Do you feel like you’ve been waiting forever and that you see no end in sight?  A lot of times we can grow weary in our waiting and want to give up.  In fact, one of the most listened-to sermons that I’ve ever preached is called “Weary In The Waiting,” because that rings true with many people.  When we are in a season of waiting, it becomes tempting to question the promises of God and throw in the towel.    

It Is God’s Will

Let’s go back to the book of Genesis.  There’s a difference between a command and a promise.  In Genesis 1:28, God commanded man and woman to be fruitful and multiply. So we know that it’s the heart of God for man and woman to be in the loving, covenantal relationship of marriage.    

Pursue Healing

There are a few reasons why finding your spouse may not be happening as quickly as you would like.  Sometimes the reason is that the person is right in front of us but we don’t recognize it because there are things in our life that need to change.  A few years ago, I had two people on my staff and from my perspective, I could see they were going to get married.  I would ask each one of them individually if they had feelings for the other, and they would say, “Oh, no way!  I would never!” 

Over time, they both went through a lot of healing and restoration.  As they went through the healing process, the craziest thing happened.  One of them came to me and said, “Pastor Mike, I used to not even be attracted to him, but now I am!”  And the other person said the same thing to me about her.  As they were healed in their emotions and minds, it changed what they found attractive.  Sometimes God will take you through a healing process that will change you, which in turn changes who comes on your radar.  So pursue healing and see what happens!  

Times and Seasons

Secondly, God has designated times and seasons for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).  Think about Abraham and Sarah.  God had outlined a promise for Abraham and Sarah, and yet they watched the clock tick year after year without the promise.  I’m sure that Abraham and Sarah thought, “Oh there’s no way that this could happen now, we are way too old!”  But we serve the God of time! He can do what He wants, when He wants, how He wants to do it.  It’s better to have the right thing at the right time than the wrong thing at the wrong time!  If it’s not happening now, it’s not the season for it yet.  And if you’re in a waiting season, know this: every season is temporary.  Winter doesn’t last forever and neither does spring.  Seasons are cyclical, so there will be an end to your waiting season.  Find hope in that!  

The Mystery of God’s Timing

I got married to my wife Julie really young.  I used to think I got married too young, but the truth is, I just needed more wisdom (and I still do – my wife will agree!).  I used to look at that season and all the “learning opportunities” it brought and think, “Man, I made a mistake by getting married so young!”  But in hindsight, I can see God had to take me through that journey.  The things of God are mysterious because now I look back and I say, “It couldn’t have happened any other way!” 

I learned some very hard and important lessons in those early years that made me into the person I am today and developed character in my life.  Opportunities arose and relationships were formed out of those seasons.  And our marriage was forged in the fire of the difficulties of those early years.  God’s timing is trustworthy, and He has a reason for the way things are.  

Do Your Part

If you’re in a waiting season, I want to encourage you that God has a perfect mate for you. Do your part – keep praying, keep believing, keep seeking, keep asking.   Keep relying on the Holy Spirit to be a source of comfort.  Keep going through a healing process and pursue wholeness in your life.  

A Note To Men

And if you’re a man reading this, I want to encourage you to get your stuff together.  It’s time to step up.  Start developing a prayer life.  There are a lot of anointed, talented, educated women who are waiting for you to get your life together who will not settle for mediocre men.  Learn to do your laundry, make your bed every day, brush your teeth at least twice a day… come on! 

The Lord knows the desires of your heart, and wanting to be married is not a selfish desire like asking God for a new car.  It’s in line with His will and He wants it for you as much as you do.  Be encouraged today!