What is a Spiritual Spouse? Incubus, Succubus, and Lilith

By February 24, 2022 Deliverance

If you experience terror at night in your sleep, you may have a spiritual spouse.  A spiritual spouse, or spirit spouse, is a phrase used in shamanism.  Spiritual husbands or wives help a shaman assist in their work of witchcraft.  In many cultures, the belief is held that a spirit spouse will cause someone to be successful in witchcraft.  The relationship between shamans and their spirit spouses is expressed romantically, sexually, or sometimes symbolically.  Shamans report engaging with their spirit spouses through dreams, trancelike states,  and other ritualistic elements.  In some cultures, you have to gain a spiritual spouse to prove that you’re a legitimate shaman.  

What does the Bible Say About Spiritual Spouses?

Genesis 6:4
The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

Genesis 6 talks about spiritual entities (the sons of God) that had relationships with human women and even impregnated them.  Their children were called the Nephilim.  I know this sounds wild, but if you are a Christian and claim to believe the Genesis account of creation, you have to also believe Genesis 6.

Isaiah 34:14 (NKJV)
The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the jackals, And the wild goat shall bleat to its companion; Also the night creature shall rest there, And find for herself a place of rest.

Some translations of the Bible refer to “the night creature” as Lilith.  Lilith is a night demon who is sexually wanton, actively seeking out victims to violate sexually.

Signs of a Spiritual Spouse

Those who struggle with orgasms or wet dreams in their sleep could be experiencing a spiritual spouse.  Spiritual spouses can also look like demonic activity in the night where they feel their bed shake, the sheets move, or feel a presence on top of them as if a demon is raping them.  It can also look like sleep paralysis (not all sleep paralysis is demonic).    These demons can be incubus, succubus, or Lilith.

Open Doors for Spiritual Spouses

A spiritual spouse is a demon.  Demons can come into your life through open doors, such as the practice of witchcraft, horoscopes, astrology, ouija boards, or signs.  Even if you haven’t participated in these, if someone in your family has, they could have opened a door to it. The door could be opened to spiritual spouses through molestation or abuse.  Viewing pornography and engaging in sexual sin are other ways that doors could be opened.  

My Story

I was tormented in my sleep from my earliest recollections.  As a three-year-old, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and seeing my entire room covered in frogs.  My grandmother was heavily rooted in witchcraft and held seances.  There were many open doors to the demonic on both sides of my family.   I remember waking up out of nightmares, and sleep paralysis started at a young age.

As a teenager, I would experience this in an extreme sense, waking up and feeling as if I was being raped.  My bedsheets would be ripped off of me.  Other times I would be physically choked, gasping for air.  I would even put tape recorders in my room to try and capture the noises I heard. I had so much anxiety to go to sleep.  I was obsessed with figuring out why this was happening.  

At this point, I was young in my faith.   I started to learn spiritual warfare and discovered that Jesus cast out spirits.  I read Romans 10:9 and learned about generational curses and how the sins of your ancestors can be transmitted through your bloodline.  I discovered that Jesus came to break curses.   I learned about the demonic and how when you are a believer, Jesus himself gives you spiritual authority over darkness.  You can renounce and cast out demons.  After this, I went from terrified to sleep to excited to exercise my spiritual authority.  I went from a kitten to a lion!  

How I Found Freedom

Once I learned about my spiritual authority, I took myself through deliverance.  You can walk yourself through deliverance – you don’t need someone to do it for you.  Allow the Holy Spirit to target what you need to repent from and then confess it,  renounce it, and break the curses.  Before self-deliverance, I felt demons following me down the hallway.  I was so afraid of the dark that I would strategically turn out the lights so that I wasn’t in the dark too long. Sin opened up the door to these demonic experiences.  But once I was delivered, it all ended.  

Sleep Paralysis

There are two forms of sleep paralysis.  One is a form of demonic activity which includes sexual activity or being physically held down after waking.  It is exhausting to experience and steals your strength and peace.  There is another form of sleep paralysis that is actually necessary for restful sleep.  Being paralyzed during your sleep due to brain chemicals allowing your body to rest is good; God designed you that way.  The negative form is when you wake up and your body is still paralyzed and held down by a demonic entity.  

How do you know if your sleep paralysis is the healthy kind or the negative kind?  Learn to practice good sleep hygiene.  This includes:

  • Getting plenty of exercise during the day
  • Eating healthy foods that nourish your body 
  • Stopping caffeine consumption early enough in the day so that your sleep isn’t affected
  • Putting your phone down an hour before you go to sleep
  • Reducing the temperature in your bedroom to a comfortable, cool level
  • Bringing in white noise
  • Establishing sleep routines like taking a shower, reading the Bible, and praying prior to sleep before you go to bed


How Do I Know If I Need Deliverance?

You can’t blame everything on the devil.  If you eat greasy pizza at 11:30 pm and then have terrorizing dreams, start by eliminating the pizza.   But if you exercise and your diet is right, and if you eliminate caffeine early enough in the day, and you’re still being tormented, you need deliverance.  If you will confess your sins, deal with generational sins, and break curses off your life, you’ll be free from whatever succubus, incubus, or foul spirit is on your life.   There are some things you can’t counsel, coach, or cure with a pill – they have to be cast out.  Allow God to deliver you, live free, and sleep peacefully in Jesus’ name! 


If you’d like to hear Pastor Mike pray over people to be freed from spiritual spouses, click here.  

My Breakthrough Community is full of people just like you who are hungry for more of God.  If you are interested in learning more, consider joining the Breakthrough Community!

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