Rip Up the List: Fighting Fair

We are starting a series called “Rip Up The List.” In this first part, we will talk about fighting fair (because we know fights will happen) and how to have a healthy relationship. The first relationship problem ever recorded in history was not started by the couple; an outsider started it.

Genesis 3:4 (ESV)
Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.”

In a sinless, perfect world, the origin of the first relationship problem was Satan speaking to a woman and convincing her that what God said was wrong. Think about that! The man and the woman agreed that what God said wasn’t true, which produced the fall of humanity.

Names for Satan in Scripture

If you read through the Bible and underline the names of Satan, you’ll discover a great deal about him. Here are some of the names of Satan you can find in the Bible:

“Your adversary” – 1 Peter 5:8 (NKJV)
“The serpent of old” –Genesis 3:4; Revelation 20:2 (NKJV)
“The accuser of the brethren” – Revelation 12:10 (NKJV)
“An angel of light” – 2 Corinthians 11:14 (NKJV)
“The deceiver” – Revelation 12:9 (NKJV)
“Apollyon,” “the destroyer,” – Revelation 9:11 (NKJV)
“The evil one” – John 17:15 (NKJV)
“A murderer” – John 8:44 (NKJV)
“The prince of the power of the air” – Ephesians 2:2 (NKJV)
“The ruler of this world” – John 12:31, 14:30, 16:11 (NKJV)
“The tempter” – Matthew 4:3 (NKJV)

Do You Sound Like Satan or Your Savior?

Rip up the list of failures and relapses. Rip up the list of going back to pornography. People who use pornography have accepted the lie that they will never have true intimacy. Some of the most depressed people are addicted to pornography. They are convinced that they will never find true love, so they might as well find passionate lust. But the Holy Spirit beckons and says, “Come unto me all those who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

Rest from what? Addiction. Rest from the lies of the enemy.

You might be bearing a heavy burden of your marriage, but the Bible says that a three-fold cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). The reason why your relationship is broken is that you never wove Jesus into it. If you weave The Everlasting into that three-fold cord, then it will be unbreakable.

Satan Perverts but Jesus Purifies

I heard an incredible testimony of a young girl who lost her virginity after believing in the way the world uses their sexuality. She decided that she would reignite her passion for God and marry pure. She resealed her virginity and saved herself for marriage even though she had previously lost her virginity. She said that her wedding night was the most incredible experience of her life – so pure, holy, and passionate. She said, “If I could go back to the younger me, I would say the world’s way doesn’t work. God’s way is better.”

Rip up the list that says you’re damaged goods and that you’ve gone too far. You’re forgiven as far as the east is from the west. You are separated from your sinful nature, and you never have to go back.

Passion is holy, but lust defiles. If you can’t go back to the beginning, let Jesus erase the stains of the past. I can’t go back to the beginning of my marriage, but every time I mentor someone early in their marriage, my pain has a purpose.

Satan Destroys What Jesus Builds

1 John 3:10 (ESV)

By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

We are either children of God or children of the devil. The Bible says you will know them by their fruit. The world knows us by how we love. So there has to come a point when you say, “I will not just be a hearer of the word but a doer of the Word also.”

Rip up the list of impossible standards and love your spouse for who they are!. When you rip up that list, you acknowledge that even on your best day, your best behavior wasn’t perfect enough to save you. Treat your spouse like Jesus treats you. He loved you at your darkest! Do you love your spouse at their darkest? He committed to us when we were at our worst. Destroy the stronghold in your mind that stops you from loving your spouse in reality.

Check out our YouVersion plan “Rip Up the List: Renew Relationships” where Pastor Mike takes you on a 7-day journey through the seven phases of romantic relationships. Each day you will be challenged to rip up the list of failures and mistakes and pursue relationships that reflect God’s heart.

My Breakthrough Community is full of people just like you who are hungry for more of God. If you are interested in learning more, consider joining the Breakthrough Community!

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